Always cook for yourself1 and never bake2.
Reoccurring ingredients and definitions
Skuzzyspice3: a disgusting powder comprised of the finely ground shattered dreams of chumps.
Grimygoop4: a little bit of this, and a little bit of that, and when measured “correctly” you get some good grimygoop. And when not measured properly could be perfect for soup, or lighting a forest fire!
Skuzzgrime: the “supercritical fluid”-like gobbledygook that floats in the liminal space between aesthetic and genre, synthesizing Qasi BABb Pink’s unyielding love for fine art and the conceptually queer.
Skuzzgrime (as a material): Skuzzyspice + Grimygoop = Skuzzgrime5
Skuzzgrime Beta: Polyester Resin + Skuzzyflakes
Skuzzgrime Alfalfa: Epoxy Resin + Skuzzyspice
Chump6: all children, as they are pathetic and easily foold
Lipo: suckin’/rippin’ out them goouuuuuuoood guts, cuz baby you’d look more “gouda” with a little less ;) (or so the illuminati bleavz)
Barmitzvah7: In terms of cooking, the barmitzvah is a term used to denote a cool off period wherein the material, usually skuzzgrime, has reached a state resembling its “final form”, but is far from it8.
Snack9: slang for art, yum!
DTF: Downright Technical Failures: A series of purely experimental trials that resulted in failure in terms of hypothesis. Thus, these will be written as basic instructions rather than a recipe.
GMO: Gay10 Mutant Offspring: Through whatever means, these babis, my babis, fell into one of them “toxic vats”11 and meta-morphed into something truly grotesque, confounding all original intention. BUTT! I swear I will try my darnedest to heckin’ love them, my babis, in spite of the fact that they are… gayyyyyyyyyyyyy. GMO RECIPE FORMAT: These recipes will be done through use of absurd cross processing12.
Rez-capades: un gioco di parole!
1Or trick others to cook for you.
Baking requires precision and math and I don’t have time for either of those.
Not to be confused with skuzzflakes, which will not be discussed unless necessary.
Grimygoop is a broad term and is often composed of two or more lickwids. Unless otherwise stated, it is to be assumed to be of the e variety (as in grimygoop-e) which is a 121 ratio of parts a and parts b.
Skuzzgrime general recipe:
Measure out x parts grimygoop part a and grimygoop part b, pouring them into each other.
Agitate the mixture continuously for what will feel like too long.
Scrape While you mix and not while pouring.
Before you pour, mix in skuzzyspice.